Completely Random KND Parodies
by FatBoySlim
Summary: Anything, and everything you'll find in these parodies. New Chapter! Toll Booth Hoagie Please R
1. Lizzie Get's Bashed

Disclaimer: I don't own the KND or Cartoon Network. Ever since I saw the pre-release of Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (I got tickets by winning a radio contest) I loved the song by SR-71 and Honor Among Thieves entitled "Right Now". So I figured, I'll use it as my next songfic. This is numbuh 1's version of the song. (Describing of the hell of Lizzie)  
  
She clings to me like cellophane  
  
Very big Fake plastic submarine  
  
Slowly driving me fatally insane  
  
But now that's over  
  
So what if the dates were great  
  
Just a temporary escape  
  
Another thing I grew to hate  
  
But now that's over  
  
Why..Why do you always drag me out of bed when I'm high  
  
Knock me down til we see eye to eye  
  
Figured her out I know she  
  
May not be Miss Right but she'll never do right now  
  
She'll never do right now  
  
I never hung on to any word  
  
Each lie was more absurd  
  
She kept me so insecure  
  
But now that's over  
  
She didn't really teach much Except her food bills would've made Bill Gates have a fuss  
  
But she taught me how to cuss...That bitch!  
  
It's over  
  
You know i used to be such a nice boy (not really)  
  
Why..Why you always drag me out of bed when I'm high  
  
Knock me down till we see eye to eye  
  
Figured her out I know she  
  
May not be Miss Right but she'll never do right now  
  
She clings to me like cellophane  
  
Very big Fake plastic submarine She's driving me fatally insane But now that's over  
  
Why..Why you always drag me out of bed when I'm high  
  
Knock me down till we see eye to eye  
  
Figured her out I know she  
  
May not be Miss Right but she'll never do right now  
  
She'll never do right now  
  
Right now  
  
Right now ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seeing how I didn't get much love from the first story, let's hope numbuh 2 does better.  
  
--- NewFoundDude 


	2. Numbuh One's Mosh on Numbuh 86

Disclaimer: I dont own the KND or Cartoon Network, or Eminems song "Mosh". I decided to tweak Mosh after I saw the episode in which Numbuh 86 got a little too crazy…well…enjoy -------------------------------------------------------- (KND: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of the KND (BOOM) (Kids: And to the Republic..) Numbuh 1: People.. (Kids: For which it stands..) Numbuh 1: Hahaha.. (Kids: One nation under God.. Indivisible..) Numbuh 1: It feels so good to be back! I scrutinize every word, memorize every line I spit it once, refuel, re-energize and rewind I give sight to the blind, my insights through the mind I exercise my right to express when I feel its time Its just all in your mind - what you interpret it as I say to fight, you take it as I ma whip someone's ass If you don't understand, don't even bother to ask A father who has grown up with a father-less past Who has blown up now to rap phenomenon That has, or at least shows, no difficulty multi-taskin and juggling both Perhaps mastered-his-craft slash, entrepreneur Who has helped launch a few more rap-bags Who's had a few obstacles thrown his way Through the last half of his career Typical manure, moving past that Mister Numbuh Four, he's a class-act Kuki Sanban, yeah, she just snaps back Chorus: Come along, follow me, as I lead through the darkness As I provide just enough spark that we need to proceed Carry on, give me hope, give me strength Come with me, and I wont steer you wrong Put your faith in your trust, as I guide us through the fog To the light at the end of the tunnel we gon' fight We gon' charge, we gon' stomp We gon' march through the swamp We gon' mosh through the marsh Take us right through the doors Come on.. All the people up top, on the side and the middle Come together, lets all form this swamp just a little Just let it gradually build, from the front to the back All you can see is a sea of people, some white and some black No matter what color, all that matters were gathered together To celebrate for the same cause, no matter the weather If it rains, let it rain Yeah, the wetter the better They ain't gon' stop us - they cant Were stronger now, more then ever They tell us "No", we say "Yeah They tell us "Stop", we say "Go" Rebel with a rebel yell Raise hell - we gon' let em know Stomp, push, shove, kick.. Fuck 86 Until they bring our kids home, cmon, just.. Chorus: Come along, follow me as I lead through the darkness As I provide just enough spark that we need to proceed Carry on, give me hope, give me strength Come with me, and I wont steer you wrong Put your faith in your trust, as I guide us through the fog To the light at the end of the tunnel we gon' fight We gon' charge, we gon' stom p We gonna march through the swamp We gonna; mosh through the marsh Take us right through the doors Come on.. Imagine it pourin', its rainin' down on us Moshpits outside the oval office Someone's tryin to tell us something Maybe this is God just sayin; were responsible For this monster - this coward that we has gotten power This is "Fann-Laden" Look at her head noddin' How could we allow something like this without pumpin our fists Now, this is our final hour Let me be the voice, and your strength and your choice Let me simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise Try to amplify it, times it, and multiply it by sixteen million Kids are equal at this high pitch Maybe we can reach the DCFDL through my speech Let Numbuh 86 answer our high anarchy Strap her with an AK-47, let him go fight her own war Let him impress daddy that way No more blood for cand-y, we got our own battles to fight on our own land No more psychological warfare to trick us to thinking that we ain't loyal If we don't serve our own country, we're patronizing our hero Look in her eyes, its all lies The stars and stripes, have been swiped Washed out and wiped and replaced with his own face Mosh now or die If I get sniped tonight, you'll know why 'Cuz I told you to fight Chorus: Come along, follow me as I lead through the darkness As I provide just enough spark that we need to proceed Carry on, give me hope, give me strength Come with me, and I wont steer you wrong Put your faith in your trust, as I guide us through the fog To the light at the end of the tunnel we goin; fight We gonna charge, we gonna; stomp We gonna march through the swamp We gonna mosh through the marsh Take us right through the doors Come on Outro: Numbuh 1: And as we proceed to mosh through this desert storm.. in these closing statements, if they should argue, let us beg to differ.. as we set aside our differences, and assemble our own army to disarm this weapon of mass destruction that we call Numbuh 86 for the present.. and mosh for the future of our next generation.. to speak and be heard… ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Hope you all liked my version of Mosh. Look for something else very soon…maybe Metallica? NewFoundDude 


	3. Toll Booth Hoagie

Disclaimer: I don't own the Kids Next Door or Cartoon Network. This skit is about Hoagie as an old man. This skit is owned by Adam Sandler, so don't sue, it's not mine. Enjoy!!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Car approaches Toll Booth Hoagie: "Welcome to San Diego. Dollar twenty-five please." Nigel: "Hey, how ya doin' Toll Booth Hoagie?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Good! Thanks fer askin, pop!" Nigel: "Aww, that's great, you know, considering yer a fuckin' idiot!" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Go fuck yourself you son of a bitch! I'll come right outta the booth and fuckin' whack ya, you fuckin' prick!" Another car approaches Wally: "Hey, hey, Willie! Hows it going?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Hey, can't complain, pop. Hows 'bout you?" Wally: "Oh, great, great. How much?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "The state charges a dollar twenty-five, pop." Wally "That's fine. Now should I give you the money, or should I shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Why you fuckin' hard on! I'll fucking Carlton Fisk yer fuckin' head with a Louise-ville fuckin' slugger! Whadya think of that ass fuck!?" Another car approaches Abby: "Hi Willie." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Oh, nice to see ya M'am. Not a bad day, huh?" Abby: "Well, I'm a little lost. Could you help me out? I hear your the best with directions." Toll Booth Willie: "Well I know my way around California. I can tell ya that much. So where ya headed?" Abby: "Well, I was just wondering exactly which is the best way to drive up your ass. You know, if you'd tell me, I'd appreciate it, you fuckin' prick." Drives off Toll Booth Haogie: "You fuckin' bitch! Fuck you! You forgot to pay the fuckin' toll you dirty whore! I'll fuckin' drop you with a boot to the fuckin' skull you cm guzzling queen!" Another car approaches Lizzie: "Hey Hoagie." Toll Booth Willie: "Hey, how are ya?" Lizzie: "Here's a dollar twenty-five, and go fuck yourself." Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Dah, you fuckin' prick! I hope you choke on a fuckin' bottle cap, ya fuckin' son of a fuck! Eat shit! Eat my shit!" Another car approaches Bishop Nelson: "Hello Hoagie. Good to see you." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Ahhh, Bishop Nelson. Nice to see ya. That was quite a sermon you had the other day." Bishop Nelson: "Hey, well I do my best." Toll Booth Willie: "Dollar twenty-five, Bishop." Bishop Nelson: "Dollar twenty-five, Hoagie. Isn't that the same price your mother charges for a blow job, you piece of dog shit!?" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Ohhh! Have another one, you fuckin' lush! It's not my fault the bartender cut ya off last night ya fuckin' douche bag!" Another car approaches Numbuh 30c: "Hey!" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Well hey!" Numbuh 30c: "Yeah, do you want the money, or should I just shove the quarters directly up your fat ass!?" Pays toll and drives off Toll Booth Hoagie: "Well, I already heard that one you fuckin' unoriginal bastard! Go suck a corn you fuckin' piece of repeatin' shit!" Another car approaches Kuki: "Hi." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Oh, hi. How are ya?" Kuki: "Fine, thank you. How much is the toll please?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "For you sweetheart, it's a dollar twenty-five." Kuki: "Here ya go." She begins begins to drive off when… Toll Booth Hoagie: "Hey! Hey! Honey! Would you like a receipt with that?" Kuki: "Oh, I almost forgot. Thank you so much." Toll Booth Hoagie: "And here ya are." Kuki: "Umm, do you think you could sign it?" Toll Booth Hoagie: "Oh, uh.. sign it?" Kuki: "Yeah, sign Toll Booth Hoagie was here." Toll Booth Willie: "Ok, sure. Uhh, by the way, what is this for?" Kuki: "Just so I could have proof for my friends that I met the biggest fuckin' dip shit with the smallest dick alive. You understand." Drives off Crumples up paper Toll Booth Hoagie: "Fuck you, you fuckin' upity bitch! I'll fuckin' fuck you and all your lesbian fish-eating friends in front of your fuckin' mothers! You're gonna die, bitch! I'm comin' outta the booth!" Opens the door and runs out of the booth Car screeches and hits him Toll Booth Hoagie: "Ooooh! My fuckin' leg!" Tommy: "Hey! You ran over Toll Booth Hoagie!" Fizz: "Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a dried up stinky dick licker." Toll Booth Hoagie: "Why you fuckin' pricks. I fuckin' hear every fuckin' word yer saying! When this fuckin' leg heals, I'm gonna kick you guys new fuckin' assholes! Although Hoagie is one of my favorite characters in the KND, I felt that I needed to bash him and flames are welcome this time. Mahalo, bitches NewFoundDude 


End file.
